Because I Said So
Wife to one handsome man, mother to three terrific sons and two beautiful daughters-in-love, memere' to two fantastic grandsons; entrepreneur, writer, reader, learner and believer! Thanks for stopping by - Alowetta
My father is 77 years old. He is active, still runs a printing business fulltime, still stands before a congregation every Sunday to deliver the Lord’s message, and spends lots of Mondays fishing at a local lake.
My father doesn’t always live on the edge of technology – even though he understands the need for it, especially in the world of print today. He has managed to learn to use his cell phone, albeit to his standards, not ours (he doesn’t always carry it around with him!). He has a DVR and cable box that he can program, and even a satellite radio in his vehicle.
However, computers have never been at the top of his “I need this” list. My mother is quite adept at computers, email and typing, and he has relied on her to provide any computer-generated data he needs. He believes (and probably rightly so) it isn’t necessary for “everyone” to know “everything.” They have made this work in their lives for 60 years, why change now.
However, a couple of years ago my father was diagnosed with macular degeneration – his eyes are slowing fading away and eventually he will probably lose his eyesight. Having worn eyeglasses since I was 5 years old, I get it – not seeing stuff sucks.
For his 77th birthday, we (family) decided to purchase a Kindle for him, because he has always been an avid reader, for education and for recreation. There was a bit of discussion regarding whether this was actually a good idea (see above about computers); but in the end we decided to gamble and get it. We figured if he didn’t use it, my mom might enjoy it.
Mom was a bit apprehensive, but she set up the Amazon account and showed him which buttons to push to search for and download books. He chose a book, and I ordered the same book so we could read together and compare.
Well, he finished the first book, and ordered a second one without my mother’s help – she probably wouldn’t have even known if she hadn’t seen the Amazon email confirmation. Since then he has purchased other books, shared books with my brother, and generally operated the thing without much help from anyone.
Just as he has learned to use technology to suit him, my generation has done the same, as has my children and grandchildren’s generations. My grandchildren now ask to “facetime” with me, and if I hadn’t learned to text on my phone I probably would never communicate with my own sons. And recently, I read where IPad’s were being used to help people with disabilities to communicate better, and advance their careers and lives.
I’m glad that my dad has the gift of being able to read as much as he wants, and that my grandchildren’s world of technology will be much broader than I can imagine at this time. And me, well, I’m just hoping that soon I will be able to figure out how to get my photos off my phone and onto my computer!
Within 3 seconds of him being placed on my swollen belly, he was sucking his fist. The Dr. said it looked like he had been doing that for a while now, even though he was less than one minute old. Born on a Friday - on exactly the day he was due. This would prove to be the last time he would be so compliant.
Growing into a somewhat accident-prone child for the first few years, and then into a would-be car thief (he could identify which was the car from a wad of keys by age 3…before the days of those big black things!), he eventually settled out to be a bright, opinionated and headstrong child who challenged us at every turn…and made me laugh in private, because he was everything I had hoped for and didn’t dare to let him know.
His life was a challenge, though I’m not sure he would admit that to anyone. His parents divorced, his sister died, and he had to share a tiny, cracker box bedroom with two additional brothers. But he persevered, making it through high school, college and into real life – thankfully, without making any major mistakes.
He might tell you his mother was the challenge – she was the flighty, spontaneous, ditzy, disorderly one, still trying to find her way in the world when he was young. He is the deep thinker, proper and linear in the way he does things. He and I clashed, sometimes many times a day… I wish in those times I could have told him how much I loved who he was becoming. He didn’t want to hear me, and I think I didn’t want him to know how desperately I wanted him to love me.
Luckily for both of us, we grew up.
And now, thirty-three years later (how did that happen??) he is a husband, father and business owner. His parenting skills are far more developed than mine were at his age, and yet he will undoubtedly be challenged by his offspring at some point – it is God’s way of keeping order in the generations of the world.
On the eve of his birthday, and with Mother’s Day just around the corner, I once again reflect on that tiny fist-sucking newborn and thank God that He gave me a chance to be a mother to such an amazing human being.
I love you, Christian – and maybe, just maybe, when you are as old as I am now, you will understand how much. Happy Birthday!
